When We Say ‘I’m Fine’ — But Mean ‘Please Stay’

How unspoken feelings shape the way we connect, love, and walk away.

We say a lot without saying much.

“I’m fine.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s nothing.”
These phrases slip off our tongues like trained dancers perfectly rehearsed, painfully empty.

But behind each one, there’s usually a storm we don’t name. Not because it doesn’t hurt. But because naming it feels… too risky.

And in that silence, a thousand relationships quietly bleed out.

Why do we hide what we actually feel?

Because we’ve learned that vulnerability comes at a cost.
Sometimes, it’s dismissed.
Sometimes, it’s mocked.
And worst of all sometimes, it’s ignored.

So, instead of saying “I need you right now,”
we say “I’ll be okay.”
And instead of admitting “That hurt,”
we smile and change the subject.

It’s not lying.
It’s survival.
But it’s also lonely.

We grew up with the wrong definitions of strength.

Strength isn’t holding everything in until you break.
It isn’t smiling when you want to scream.
It isn’t saying “I’m fine” when you’re not.

Real strength?
Is letting someone see the parts of you that aren’t filtered.
Real strength is looking someone in the eye and saying,
“I’m not okay and I hope that doesn’t scare you away.”

That’s terrifying.
And powerful.
And deeply human.

The weight of unspoken truths

How many times have you walked away from someone you loved — not because you stopped loving them, but because you didn’t know how to say what you needed?

How many times did the silence grow louder than the words you never said?

This is how people lose each other.
Not in explosions, but in the quiet.
Not in anger, but in assumptions.
Not because they don’t care but because they’re too scared to say how much they care.

We assume people should just “know”

“If they cared, they’d ask.”
“If they loved me, they’d notice.”
“If I mattered, I wouldn’t have to explain.”

But here’s the truth most of us don’t want to admit:
People aren’t mind readers.
They don’t always know what’s going on inside us — especially when we go out of our way to hide it.

Sometimes, the only thing standing between you and the closeness you crave…
is one honest sentence.

And yes, it might shake things up.
Yes, it might make you feel exposed.
But it also might open the door you’ve been pretending doesn’t exist.

It’s okay to want to be understood

You are not “too much” for needing reassurance.
You are not “dramatic” for feeling deeply.
You are not “weak” for hoping someone will stay — even when you’re not at your best.

We all want the same thing:
To be seen.
To be chosen.
To be loved not just in our light, but in our shadows.

And the only way that happens?
Is if we stop hiding them.

Let your feelings breathe.

Next time someone asks how you are — pause.

Take a breath.
Check in.
And if you’re not fine, try saying something else.

“I’m a little tired today.”
“I’ve been feeling off, but I don’t really know why.”
“Honestly… I could use a hug.”

You’d be surprised how often that kind of honesty doesn’t push people away — it brings them closer.

Because deep down, we’re all just waiting for someone to go first.

You are not hard to love. You are just learning how to be heard.

It’s okay to struggle with saying what you feel.
It’s okay to stumble through your sentences.
It’s okay to cry halfway through a conversation.
You’re allowed to be real. Messy. Awkward. Emotional.

You don’t need to be easy to understand to deserve understanding.

Just don’t let silence be the reason they never knew the real you.